A key word to consider when we think of the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on our children is “LOSS”.  The sudden and drastic change experienced as of the 27^th of March this year has brought about unprecedented losses and stressors for our children and our families. 

A trauma is defined as, “an incident or event that is sudden, unexpected and life-changing”.  The pandemic can be described as traumatic in that suddenly and unexpectedly we lost our “way of being” – schooling moved online for many;  sport, music, drama and dance activities were cancelled; tours and camps postponed; a fear of contracting the virus developed; physical connection with friends and family members were stopped; social isolation called for; financial and economic stressors affected families; some experienced the death of someone close, to the virus; the possibility of not having a Matric Farewell, Awards Evenings or a Valedictory Service became real and so the losses have accumulated in the last 5 months and continue to accrue.

As a result, the impact of these losses have resulted in calls to mental health call-centres having almost tripled; workplaces have retrenched many employees; violence in the home has increased; social isolation and loneliness increased suicide risk; many people have been unable to access basic necessities; many of those struggling with anxiety and depression prior to the pandemic have experienced a relapse; COVID fatigue has set in; negative health issues increased due to a lack of exercise, boredom and complacency, and increased suicide attempts and deaths have been reported.

Innovative approaches to addressing mental health and suicide risk are necessary and possible.  The first step in doing so is to acknowledge that NO ONE is immune to the onset of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts and risk during this period of change.  How then can we identify the warning signs that my child, partner, friend, student, or colleague is not doing okay and may be at risk?

Those who study suicidology tell us that the primary underlying features that can contribute to suicide deaths is:

• Depression
• A lack of a sense of belonging
• A sense of being a burden
• Hopelessness and shame
• A desire to end the emotional pain experienced 
• No sense of purpose or meaning

The impact of the COVID pandemic as detailed above can result in each of these contributory factors, thus increasing the risk for suicide.   In fact, individuals who have been suicidal before could have a spike in suicidal risk under the current circumstances.  So how do we identify if someone may be mentally unwell, struggling or a suicide risk:

First, we want to observe and become aware of:

• The actions that we see
•  The words and phrases we hear
•  The feelings being expressed and sensed and
•  The life circumstances being experienced.

What do I see?

• Change in usual behaviour
• Withdrawal / Isolation
• Lack of personal hygiene
• Extreme mood swings
• No appetite / Eating too much
• Insomnia / Sleeping a lot
• Interest in celebrity suicide deaths
• Use of substances or increase in
• Loss of interest in hobbies / interests
• Risky or reckless behaviours
• Talking or writing about suicide on social media
• Giving away prized possessions
• Researching / Googling “How to suicide”
• Low mood but then a sense of relief
• Self-harm – cutting, burning, creating pain

What do I hear?

• You will be better off without me
• I do not belong
• I am a burden
• No one will notice if I am not here
• I am so tired
• There is no purpose or meaning to my life
• You will see….
• No one can help me
• Why must I be just so others can be okay?
• I am a worthless failure
• I can no longer provide for my family
• I am useless

What Feelings Do I Sense?

• Immense sadness
• Hopelessness
• Helplessness
• Shame
• Fear / anxious / agitated
• Anger / rage
• Desire to seek revenge
• Worthless
• Boredom
• Trapped

Life Events Experienced

• Effects of a pandemic
• Isolation
• Rejection
• Break-up of a relationship
• Conflict or violence in the home
• Bullying
• Abuse / neglect
• Work overload
• Adjustment to change in learning
• Loss / death of a loved one
• Illness or health issues
• Financial stressors
• Change is academic results
• Inability to play sport or exercise

An acronym that I use to help me remember the warning signs that may indicate a high suicide risk is: “IS PATH WARM”

So, what do you do if you identify a number of the warning signs presented in a child, family member or a friend?  It is of life and death importance that we now engage with this person and ASK them if they are having suicidal thoughts.  The burden to engage rests with us as the suicidal person has been subtly indicating through their actions, words, feelings, and life events, that they are not well. Now that we have identified and heard these invitations, because we now know what we are listening and looking for, can we act.    

Mental health issues and suicidality will only be treated and prevented when we begin to talk about the issues.  If we avoid talking to a person in crisis then we continue to emphasise that they cannot be helped, that we are afraid of their pain and we continue to highlight the stigma that accompanies these issues.

We can engage in a conversation in the following way:

“I have been noticing that you have been very sad and tearful lately, you get angry quickly, you have been isolating yourself, posting messages about death on social media, sleeping more than usual, not eating very much and I have heard you repeatedly say that there is no purpose to your life and that you are a failure.  I also know that you have recently broken up with your boy/girlfriend.  People who present in a similar manner often experience suicidal thoughts, could you be thinking of suicide?“

They could acknowledge that they are feeling suicidal or express that they are not having thoughts of suicide but move on to explain what they may be struggling with.  It is important to remember that by asking them if they are having thoughts of suicide, you do not have the power to give them such thoughts.  Rather they will be so relieved to be heard and understood by someone that they genuinely will open up and want to talk about their pain and their thoughts and plans.

The goal is to open the door to talk about what may be bringing suicide into this person’s life.  It is not to try and fix all their issues, convince them that what they are feeling is not okay or will pass or discuss the impact of their suicide death on those left behind.  But it is to sit with that person in their pain and empathically talk through their pain.  You feel …. because … is a good tool to express empathic understanding. 

However, you cannot assist your child, family member, friend on your own.  Now that you have identified that they are at potential risk of suicide, it is of vital importance to negotiate with them that you will need to involve a professional, so as to ensure that they get the best help moving forward.  You can say something along the lines of, “I cannot run the risk of losing you, we need to get someone else to help.”

Therapeutic support, risk assessment and suicide prevention counselling for learners and their family members who may be struggling mentally and emotionally during this period can be found at THRIVE – it’s a lifestyle at Xavier Boulevard, Winchester Hills, Johannesburg South.  This brand-new Wellness Hub offers a warm, safe, and comfortable counselling space and has been created with this purpose in mind, amongst others.

If you, or a family member, are experiencing signs of depression and / or anxiety, suicidal thoughts or you just need to talk through the impact of the pandemic on you and your struggle with the adjustment to the drastic change, then please contact Lorraine Mitchell at 0845601003 or Lorraine@perception-sa.co.za.    

Should you or someone close to you not be requiring counselling or therapeutic intervention but acknowledge that the adjustment to the numerous changes being experienced are taking its toll emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally and psychologically, then here are a few practical and creative ideas to consider to assist us develop the resilience we need to journey through this time:

• Stay connected, physical distance does not mean social isolation.
• If you know persons that are feeling disconnected, alone and a limited sense of belonging – connect with them, show compassion and care, send messages and texts.
• If not addressed, experiences of overwhelming loneliness, sadness or lack of meaning may continue long after the lockdown has ended. Individuals who experience depression and loneliness after the lockdown should reach out to others, try to eat healthy foods, do fun things and exercise more.
• As a community, possibly try to assist to restore some of what they have lost due to the pandemic and lockdown – Offer a meal, a food parcel, a job that they can do for you. 
• Value persons around us, highlight that no one is a burden. 
• Mobilise the school to organise a Zoom / mini Matric farewell and graduation. 
• Be creative – think out of the box in our “new normal” existence. 
• It is equally important for organisations to include mental health as a critical factor in their business planning and strategies going forward.
• Most importantly, do something every day to help build resilience and implement strategies to look after your own mental health so that you can prevent any crises or escalation.  Remember – No one is immune!
•  Limit reading or listening to the news to a few accurate, reliable sources.  Do not overload your thoughts with negative information. 
• For people with pre-existing mental health conditions, now is not the time to stop or wean off your psychiatric medicines. Speak to your Doctor before changing your medical care.
• If you are in a difficult, conflictual, or unsafe environment – remove yourself.  Go to a family member or friend.  Do not remain in toxic and dangerous spaces.
• We need to act now to address the mental health needs associated with the pandemic, to reduce the enormous long-term consequences for families, communities, and societies.

There may be optimistic considerations, a silver lining to the current situation. One hypothesis is the so-called pulling together effect, whereby individuals undergoing a shared experience might support one another, thus strengthening social connectedness.  The recent advancements in technology (for example, video conferencing and telehealth options) might facilitate pulling together.  Pandemics may also alter one’s views on health and mortality, making life more precious, death more fearsome, and suicide hopefully, less likely.  

The key to our well-being during this time is to be aware of what we need to ensure connectedness, holistic health and stability and actively seek this out for ourselves and those around us.

The post How Can We Ensure The Mental Health and Safety of Our Children During Covid-19? appeared first on Thrive.

It’s August 2003; 6 months after Beverly Lutz, the flamboyant Canadian BodyTalk Instructor brought the incredible healthcare System of BodyTalk to Durban & Johannesburg.  She left our shores a week after class, and ever since, we’ve been mastering the techniques in my clinic every weekend.  I’m responsible for marketing & growing the awareness of this new modality in the province, & for recruiting fourteen new students for her next course that October.  No one knows what BodyTalk is, so I’ve attended every wellness fair, and placed articles in the newspaper. The phone rings. The woman sounds desperate. “The flyer says that BodyTalk has proven successful in addressing back pain,” she says. “Yes, that’s right, how can I help you?” I reply. “I’ve had MRI scans and my neurologist suggested I first try physiotherapy; failing which he’ll have no choice but to operate. My body isn’t responding to the physiotherapy, and I really want to avoid this operation. Can you help? I’ve spent six weeks in bed, living on pain killers for excruciating pain. I cannot work, go for walks or drive.”

And so, my first paying client, Dhana, slowly shuffles into my clinic. Through the yes-no muscle checking, some ‘general plumbing and wiring’ links come up in the session, and her body advises another BodyTalk balance the very next day! 

There is no change, and I help her to lie down on my treatment bed a second time. I breathe and center myself.  I can only trust and respect the innate intelligence of the body; it’s responsible for knowing and indicating what the underlying causes are, and for initiating the relevant healing responses. I remind myself that I am merely the facilitator; here to hold space and believe in the abundant possibilities and potential healing power of the body and BodyTalk. 

The General Environment technique tests positive as an underlying cause and priority. This technique requires that the practitioner put on their “Private Investigator Cap” as Beverly calls it, and use the ‘yes-no muscle checking’ and procedure chart, to investigate what exactly in the client’s environment, is causing the stress. We then need to identify where the stress is entering the body, and thirdly, what organ, endocrine or body part the stress is affecting. “Is there anything going on at work that’s possibly causing you stress?” I ask, as “work” had tested as a priority underlying cause. Out pours “the issue from her tissue.” She works for her in-laws, and every day she dreads going into work, as she knows that they don’t want her there. She feels rejected and unwanted. That was it! Nothing more to the story needed. This ‘stress factor’ had entered her pelvis, and she was blown away when I mentioned that it was affecting her 4^th lumbar vertebrae. “But that’s the exact vertebrae the neurologist said was an issue.” I smiled; the body had guided me; it had spoken her unique body story, and I “tapped it out.” 

Five hours later, my cell phone beeps; “Taryn, you won’t believe it, but I’m walking along the beachfront right now. I have no trace of pain whatsoever. Thank you so very much! Dhana.”

Eight years later it was a delight to bump into her again. She smiled at me, “I said I would come back if I ever had any more pain. I’ve been pain free.” 

My favorite clinic sign reads, “We are not troubled by things, but by the opinion which we have of things,” by Epictetus. We train practitioners to understand that it’s not the environment that causes dis-ease, but the client’s point of view. Once the emotional charge and attachment is taken off of the ‘environmental stress factor,’ the client’s perspective shifts, and harmony restores to the mind and body.

According to the 2017 Profmed Stress Index, work remains one of the leading drivers of stress-related illnesses among South African professionals. “Finding effective ways to manage stress is what will make the difference in the quality of life for hard-working professionals and is the only way to avoid falling ill to stress-related illnesses,” said Graham Anderson, chief executive officer of Profmed. 

Studies conducted by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) revealed that more than 40 percent of all work-related illness is due to work-related stress, major depression, burnout and anxiety disorders.

Renata Schoeman, leadership lecturer at the University of Stellenbosch Business School (USB) and psychiatrist states that, “undiagnosed and untreated mental health conditions directly impact a workplace through increased absenteeism and presenteeism (attending work while unwell), reducing productivity and increasing costs. Most employers tend to completely underestimate the financial impact of mental illness on their bottom line.”

Certified BodyTalk Practitioners and members of The International and South African BodyTalk Associations, are committed to filling this gap, and helping to support both corporate companies and their employees in this battle of work-related stress and illness. We also effectively take care of stress in pregnant women, their fetuses, growing children, spouses and grandparents. Give us a call. We can’t wait to make a difference in your life.

The post Discover the Healing Power of The ‘General Environment Technique’ appeared first on Thrive.

It is the 26^th May 2019, and like déjà vu, the scooter chugs up the narrow winding hill of the tiny Nusa Lembongan island of Bali for the second time. It is nowhere to be found!  My bank card has vanished, like a thief into the night. I feel the hot wind as it whips in my face; my hands rest wearily on the driver’s shoulders in front of me; “HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT A CARD?” I slowly repeat to myself over and over. The idea seemed impossible and preposterous. All I had known, was the way in which I had always survived; I swiped my card for food at the restaurants, I withdrew cash at the ATM for ferry rides or goods at the market and I paid for my gypsy travel accommodation on-line with my card. Now I needed to cancel my lost card immediately; there would be no more on-line purchases, no more cash withdrawals and no more swiping!  Imagine…. living without a reservoir of money from which to pull funds from for your daily needs…. How I am going to eat?  Where will I sleep?

How many of us have become lavish, wanting the most expensive cars, homes or clothing we can afford?  What sacrifices do you possibly make to do this? Did you choose a vocation based on a high earning career instead of following your soul passion? Our lives, identity and success seem to be shaped by what money can buy. What impression do you have of the beggar on the street versus the person in the Mercedes Benz?  What gratitude do you truly hold for the money you have? Or is it never enough? What beliefs are you teaching your children about money? What do you choose to spend your money on? Do you spend it on soulful therapeutic experiences or for polishing the ego with Gucci?

“What do I have?” I have tonight’s accommodation paid for; I have 600 000 Indonesian Rupees, equivalent to R600, tucked into my dark navy blue tasseled suede handbag hanging diagonally across my chest.  With instant gratitude, I recognize how my mindset has started shifting towards money; this R600 has become incredibly precious to me.  “What is my reality?” I have to find a way to survive on this foreign island with no money.  That’s the bottom line. I have 29 days of solo travel between two foreign countries left, with my return flight leaving Thailand to SA only on the 24^th June.

I surface from my reality shock in a daze, realizing something so significant has just occurred.  I know God doesn’t bring anything into my life by accident. There is a divine purpose and plan for everything. I know I have “spirit-me” and God, and therefore I have everything I need to rely on, and trust in, to get through this safely. My powerful spiritual awakening in 2016 and 2017 taught me this, when I developed The Divinity System out of necessity and fear, when my entire life with everything and everyone in it, collapsed and dismantled.  I endured a lot of trauma, grief, betrayal and panic from the losses of my support structures, home, marriage, furniture, business, dreams and beliefs. The lesson I learned from this was that external safety is an illusion that comes from attachment.  The gift of personal freedom that I came to embody, is that true safety, comfort, love, counsel and guidance comes from within.

I climb off the scooter with my back packs and a purposeful, mindful intention to follow a divine plan of transitioning from living on a card, to living on a prayer.

The fact is, life is unpredictable and filled with surprises, making it a true adventure.  Your spirit nature is wild and free, whilst your mind’s nature is structured, craving its control and safety. We have to be ready to step out of our comfort zones, and be fearless. We have to be ready to walk hand in hand with our spirit-me, connected to God. How can we say we have trust and faith in God, and then live in panic or fear?

Panic and fear I’ve learned, robs you of your calm and hope. It’s only in the calm, that one can be connected to your spirit-me or Higher-Self. If you lose this connection, then you’ve lost your ability to receive higher divine guidance and intervention.  Without higher divine guidance, you are lost at a stormy sea to face your “mini-me” demons and egoic mind. And hell knows, that’s a place of struggle and strife. That’s the place you want to avoid coming from at all costs; that’s the Lower-Self that’s responsible for putting you on anti-depressants, giving you a nervous breakdown or making your body sick.

I check into my bungalow for the night and decide not to eat dinner. I had an apple on the scooter ride over, and that would have to suffice. It had been a gift from the temple I had visited the night before.

The next morning, in prayer, I contemplate whether to check out or stay another night, and I hear my spirit-me whisper, “go, get up and go.” I obey without wavering. What followed was the start of a financial awakening.  Up until that point, I realized that we as a society had lost the appreciation that comes from the ability of being able to barter and trade for our daily simple needs, as our ancestors did long ago.   Instead, we are taught to have bank accounts, live on credit and become financial hoarders and spenders, living electronically, and never really seeing the value of exchange that takes place from the human interaction of giving and receiving. 

I arrive at reception to check-out, at the exact time that two young travelers are checking-in. Merinte and I instantly connect; she is a girl from the Netherlands who has fallen off of her scooter whilst exploring Nusa Penida Island the day before. She is in a lot of pain; hobbling and full of grazes.  What do you know?  Here is a person in need of a healer, and a person in need of shelter. Divine Intervention!

“Thank-you Taryn, during the session you gave me so much rest.  I could feel my fear and anger go away. It also reduced my level of pain. It was a blessing to meet you, Merinte.” Reading this text, I marvel at how we as humans are truly dependent on one another for our mutual survival. And how I am truly dependent on God for mine to meet these humans. I knew my 29-day journey ahead would only be possible by continuing to trust and rely on my daily prayers and spirit-me whispers. What a journey lay ahead! Eight nights later, the orange lanterns sway in the trees above the heads of jovial tourists oblivious as to how their feast is my famine. I have been blessed to have had breakfast. My stomach is now empty, yet I am grateful to be sitting here drinking water. The song “I gotta have faith, faith, faith” drifts through the Ginger Jamu café; I drink the words like a message from a bottle; embracing the secret code to survival I know so well; trust the universe has your back.

The post Broke in Bali appeared first on Thrive.