Broke in Bali

A true story

It is the 26th May 2019, and like déjà vu, the scooter chugs up the narrow winding hill of the tiny Nusa Lembongan island of Bali for the second time. It is nowhere to be found!  My bank card has vanished, like a thief into the night. I feel the hot wind as it whips in my face; my hands rest wearily on the driver’s shoulders in front of me; “HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT A CARD?” I slowly repeat to myself over and over. The idea seemed impossible and preposterous. All I had known, was the way in which I had always survived; I swiped my card for food at the restaurants, I withdrew cash at the ATM for ferry rides or goods at the market and I paid for my gypsy travel accommodation on-line with my card. Now I needed to cancel my lost card immediately; there would be no more on-line purchases, no more cash withdrawals and no more swiping!  Imagine…. living without a reservoir of money from which to pull funds from for your daily needs…. How I am going to eat?  Where will I sleep?

How many of us have become lavish, wanting the most expensive cars, homes or clothing we can afford?  What sacrifices do you possibly make to do this? Did you choose a vocation based on a high earning career instead of following your soul passion? Our lives, identity and success seem to be shaped by what money can buy. What impression do you have of the beggar on the street versus the person in the Mercedes Benz?  What gratitude do you truly hold for the money you have? Or is it never enough? What beliefs are you teaching your children about money? What do you choose to spend your money on? Do you spend it on soulful therapeutic experiences or for polishing the ego with Gucci?

“What do I have?” I have tonight’s accommodation paid for; I have 600 000 Indonesian Rupees, equivalent to R600, tucked into my dark navy blue tasseled suede handbag hanging diagonally across my chest.  With instant gratitude, I recognize how my mindset has started shifting towards money; this R600 has become incredibly precious to me.  “What is my reality?” I have to find a way to survive on this foreign island with no money.  That’s the bottom line. I have 29 days of solo travel between two foreign countries left, with my return flight leaving Thailand to SA only on the 24th June.

I surface from my reality shock in a daze, realizing something so significant has just occurred.  I know God doesn’t bring anything into my life by accident. There is a divine purpose and plan for everything. I know I have “spirit-me” and God, and therefore I have everything I need to rely on, and trust in, to get through this safely. My powerful spiritual awakening in 2016 and 2017 taught me this, when I developed The Divinity System out of necessity and fear, when my entire life with everything and everyone in it, collapsed and dismantled.  I endured a lot of trauma, grief, betrayal and panic from the losses of my support structures, home, marriage, furniture, business, dreams and beliefs. The lesson I learned from this was that external safety is an illusion that comes from attachment.  The gift of personal freedom that I came to embody, is that true safety, comfort, love, counsel and guidance comes from within.

I climb off the scooter with my back packs and a purposeful, mindful intention to follow a divine plan of transitioning from living on a card, to living on a prayer.

The fact is, life is unpredictable and filled with surprises, making it a true adventure.  Your spirit nature is wild and free, whilst your mind’s nature is structured, craving its control and safety. We have to be ready to step out of our comfort zones, and be fearless. We have to be ready to walk hand in hand with our spirit-me, connected to God. How can we say we have trust and faith in God, and then live in panic or fear?

Panic and fear I’ve learned, robs you of your calm and hope. It’s only in the calm, that one can be connected to your spirit-me or Higher-Self. If you lose this connection, then you’ve lost your ability to receive higher divine guidance and intervention.  Without higher divine guidance, you are lost at a stormy sea to face your “mini-me” demons and egoic mind. And hell knows, that’s a place of struggle and strife. That’s the place you want to avoid coming from at all costs; that’s the Lower-Self that’s responsible for putting you on anti-depressants, giving you a nervous breakdown or making your body sick.

I check into my bungalow for the night and decide not to eat dinner. I had an apple on the scooter ride over, and that would have to suffice. It had been a gift from the temple I had visited the night before.

The next morning, in prayer, I contemplate whether to check out or stay another night, and I hear my spirit-me whisper, “go, get up and go.” I obey without wavering. What followed was the start of a financial awakening.  Up until that point, I realized that we as a society had lost the appreciation that comes from the ability of being able to barter and trade for our daily simple needs, as our ancestors did long ago.   Instead, we are taught to have bank accounts, live on credit and become financial hoarders and spenders, living electronically, and never really seeing the value of exchange that takes place from the human interaction of giving and receiving. 

I arrive at reception to check-out, at the exact time that two young travelers are checking-in. Merinte and I instantly connect; she is a girl from the Netherlands who has fallen off of her scooter whilst exploring Nusa Penida Island the day before. She is in a lot of pain; hobbling and full of grazes.  What do you know?  Here is a person in need of a healer, and a person in need of shelter. Divine Intervention!

“Thank-you Taryn, during the session you gave me so much rest.  I could feel my fear and anger go away. It also reduced my level of pain. It was a blessing to meet you, Merinte.” Reading this text, I marvel at how we as humans are truly dependent on one another for our mutual survival. And how I am truly dependent on God for mine to meet these humans. I knew my 29-day journey ahead would only be possible by continuing to trust and rely on my daily prayers and spirit-me whispers. What a journey lay ahead! Eight nights later, the orange lanterns sway in the trees above the heads of jovial tourists oblivious as to how their feast is my famine. I have been blessed to have had breakfast. My stomach is now empty, yet I am grateful to be sitting here drinking water. The song “I gotta have faith, faith, faith” drifts through the Ginger Jamu café; I drink the words like a message from a bottle; embracing the secret code to survival I know so well; trust the universe has your back.

Written by Taryn Edge

Taryn Edge is the free-spirited author of Broke in Bali. Developer of the Divinity System © 2016. Facilitator of life changing online programs, mentoring, coaching, workshops and retreats for women and teenagers.

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