It is the 26^th May 2019, and like déjà vu, the scooter chugs up the narrow winding hill of the tiny Nusa Lembongan island of Bali for the second time. It is nowhere to be found!  My bank card has vanished, like a thief into the night. I feel the hot wind as it whips in my face; my hands rest wearily on the driver’s shoulders in front of me; “HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT A CARD?” I slowly repeat to myself over and over. The idea seemed impossible and preposterous. All I had known, was the way in which I had always survived; I swiped my card for food at the restaurants, I withdrew cash at the ATM for ferry rides or goods at the market and I paid for my gypsy travel accommodation on-line with my card. Now I needed to cancel my lost card immediately; there would be no more on-line purchases, no more cash withdrawals and no more swiping!  Imagine…. living without a reservoir of money from which to pull funds from for your daily needs…. How I am going to eat?  Where will I sleep?

How many of us have become lavish, wanting the most expensive cars, homes or clothing we can afford?  What sacrifices do you possibly make to do this? Did you choose a vocation based on a high earning career instead of following your soul passion? Our lives, identity and success seem to be shaped by what money can buy. What impression do you have of the beggar on the street versus the person in the Mercedes Benz?  What gratitude do you truly hold for the money you have? Or is it never enough? What beliefs are you teaching your children about money? What do you choose to spend your money on? Do you spend it on soulful therapeutic experiences or for polishing the ego with Gucci?

“What do I have?” I have tonight’s accommodation paid for; I have 600 000 Indonesian Rupees, equivalent to R600, tucked into my dark navy blue tasseled suede handbag hanging diagonally across my chest.  With instant gratitude, I recognize how my mindset has started shifting towards money; this R600 has become incredibly precious to me.  “What is my reality?” I have to find a way to survive on this foreign island with no money.  That’s the bottom line. I have 29 days of solo travel between two foreign countries left, with my return flight leaving Thailand to SA only on the 24^th June.

I surface from my reality shock in a daze, realizing something so significant has just occurred.  I know God doesn’t bring anything into my life by accident. There is a divine purpose and plan for everything. I know I have “spirit-me” and God, and therefore I have everything I need to rely on, and trust in, to get through this safely. My powerful spiritual awakening in 2016 and 2017 taught me this, when I developed The Divinity System out of necessity and fear, when my entire life with everything and everyone in it, collapsed and dismantled.  I endured a lot of trauma, grief, betrayal and panic from the losses of my support structures, home, marriage, furniture, business, dreams and beliefs. The lesson I learned from this was that external safety is an illusion that comes from attachment.  The gift of personal freedom that I came to embody, is that true safety, comfort, love, counsel and guidance comes from within.

I climb off the scooter with my back packs and a purposeful, mindful intention to follow a divine plan of transitioning from living on a card, to living on a prayer.

The fact is, life is unpredictable and filled with surprises, making it a true adventure.  Your spirit nature is wild and free, whilst your mind’s nature is structured, craving its control and safety. We have to be ready to step out of our comfort zones, and be fearless. We have to be ready to walk hand in hand with our spirit-me, connected to God. How can we say we have trust and faith in God, and then live in panic or fear?

Panic and fear I’ve learned, robs you of your calm and hope. It’s only in the calm, that one can be connected to your spirit-me or Higher-Self. If you lose this connection, then you’ve lost your ability to receive higher divine guidance and intervention.  Without higher divine guidance, you are lost at a stormy sea to face your “mini-me” demons and egoic mind. And hell knows, that’s a place of struggle and strife. That’s the place you want to avoid coming from at all costs; that’s the Lower-Self that’s responsible for putting you on anti-depressants, giving you a nervous breakdown or making your body sick.

I check into my bungalow for the night and decide not to eat dinner. I had an apple on the scooter ride over, and that would have to suffice. It had been a gift from the temple I had visited the night before.

The next morning, in prayer, I contemplate whether to check out or stay another night, and I hear my spirit-me whisper, “go, get up and go.” I obey without wavering. What followed was the start of a financial awakening.  Up until that point, I realized that we as a society had lost the appreciation that comes from the ability of being able to barter and trade for our daily simple needs, as our ancestors did long ago.   Instead, we are taught to have bank accounts, live on credit and become financial hoarders and spenders, living electronically, and never really seeing the value of exchange that takes place from the human interaction of giving and receiving. 

I arrive at reception to check-out, at the exact time that two young travelers are checking-in. Merinte and I instantly connect; she is a girl from the Netherlands who has fallen off of her scooter whilst exploring Nusa Penida Island the day before. She is in a lot of pain; hobbling and full of grazes.  What do you know?  Here is a person in need of a healer, and a person in need of shelter. Divine Intervention!

“Thank-you Taryn, during the session you gave me so much rest.  I could feel my fear and anger go away. It also reduced my level of pain. It was a blessing to meet you, Merinte.” Reading this text, I marvel at how we as humans are truly dependent on one another for our mutual survival. And how I am truly dependent on God for mine to meet these humans. I knew my 29-day journey ahead would only be possible by continuing to trust and rely on my daily prayers and spirit-me whispers. What a journey lay ahead! Eight nights later, the orange lanterns sway in the trees above the heads of jovial tourists oblivious as to how their feast is my famine. I have been blessed to have had breakfast. My stomach is now empty, yet I am grateful to be sitting here drinking water. The song “I gotta have faith, faith, faith” drifts through the Ginger Jamu café; I drink the words like a message from a bottle; embracing the secret code to survival I know so well; trust the universe has your back.

The post Broke in Bali appeared first on Thrive.

Looking back at my life, if anyone had to tell me 20 years ago that I would survive betrayal, deceit, infidelity, two failed marriages, two miscarriages, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial ruin, weight gain and four career changes before the age of 40… I would laugh so loudly that everyone in the room would immediately know I’m Mediterranean (It’s just how I laugh… lol) and I would naturally eventually say… “I would never be able to survive that!” – but you know what, I DID and I’m so incredibly happy I was given that path to shape my journey the way that it did.

Truth is, nothing in our lives happens by chance – every detail has a purpose – like the threads in a beautifully woven quilt, whether it reveals itself immediately or 20 years later, the fact remains that it will eventually all create an incredible pattern filled with depth and colour that will absolutely leave us breathless just by looking at it! It’s difficult to accept that everything happens for a reason or that everything is intended to happen in our lives exactly as it should, especially when it carries so much pain, but I truly believe this is the case.

About five years ago, as I began my journey into my second divorce, someone explained to me how they believed that each soul is shown the life they will live before they are given a body to live out that exact life, meaning that each and every one of us has actually watched the “movie of our lives” in detail (so, not the short, romantic “trailer” version) and actually CHOSE to live it anyway. I can’t explain the rage I felt! Really?! “So you mean to say I chose to live through all this pain?!” I exclaimed in complete disgust, for the mere thought that this could in any way be possible. Yet, here I sit today, utterly nestled in the understanding of this profound theory, and feeling truly blessed to be at a point in my life that I simply get it and more shockingly – I feel immense gratitude.

You know how it is believed that in order to know true happiness, one requires to feel deep sadness? Well, it is only in the absence of anything that we are able to appreciate its presence, and only in the true presence of anything are we able to appreciate its absence – so is life. I would have never understood a journey destined to find inner peace and healing had I not experience a journey filled with chaos and pain. How can I feel anything but gratitude for every person that has caused me pain in my life, for they have taught me to appreciate every single person that has come into my life thereafter, to show me love, light, friendship, and trust.

Today I am able to enjoy my own company, where before, I could be in a room full of people and still feel inconsolably lonely. I cannot begin to explain the freedom one experiences when you are able to make YOURSELF HAPPY. I know that may sound strange, but don’t most of us turn to things and people, especially partners, to MAKE US HAPPY? I know I did! For a VERY LONG TIME, I placed that responsibility on others. But today, TODAY I find happiness within me. Finding happiness within is the only way to truly experience happiness with anything or anyone else. Today I make it MY responsibility to ensure that I am following the whispers of MY soul so I can walk MY journey towards fulfilment.

This is why Thrive – It’s A Lifestyle is so incredibly important to me. It’s more than just a wellness hub, it’s a home. A home to everyone looking to find themselves and each other. A home to children looking for guidance, inspiration and healing. A home for women searching for their voice, their worth, and their why. It’s for men wanting to lead with compassion, nurturing, and understanding. For families looking for connection, excitement, and community. It’s for everyone wanting to grow, transform, and flourish. This wellness hub is a welcoming, loving and nurturing home, where we can learn to live our best lives, together.

For many years, I wasted time focused on my destination, and if the last few years have taught me anything, it’s that the journey itself IS the destination. I want to share my journey with everyone that walks through these front doors. I want my experiences to serve as inspiration and guidance to all those needing it. I want to invite wellness professionals with the same experiences and passion to help others to join me in helping make this world, OUR WORLD, a better place: one person, family, and community at a time.

It’s time we take the time and PAY ATTENTION to the little things; stop and literally smell the roses, take note of what is said to us and how we make people feel, and how they make us feel. Let’s really notice and remember – especially the good stuff – because our life is happening NOW, and if we’re not paying attention, it may pass us by without us even taking any notice.

So, as we continue to step into 2020, let’s dig up our goals and dreams, and let’s remember how WORTHY we are, how incredibly STRONG we are, and how we CAN actually survive ANYTHING thrown at us and truly THRIVE!

Remember, WE CHOSE THIS LIFE FOR A REASON, so let’s TRUST our judgment and REALLY make it count!

The post I would never be able to survive that appeared first on Thrive.